I have woken up with the kite song in my head. The one at the end of Mary Poppins. 'Let'sss gooo flyyy a kite..'. That one. This is because we watched it last night. We have been on a musical tear lately, although I'm not sure that watching two musicals could really be considered a tear, but it started with The Sound of Music and a week later, Mary Poppins. This is all because we are visiting Salzburg in a few weeks and are doing the Sound of Music tour.
It's KB's favourite movie but I'd never seen The Sound of Music so I wasn’t watching it with the same magic that it might normally get infused with from childhood. I watched it with the logical and analytical mind of an adult. So initially, I have minor questions floating around in my head. Like this one: Doesn't the captain seem way too chill once Maria leaves? There appears to be zero yearning. Wasn't he smitten? In love? Where's the yearning? Instead he just goes full steam ahead with his marriage to the baroness. Out of sight out of mind, let's crack on. And then Maria comes back and immediately he's done with the baroness again, who's asking him about the honeymoon as he stares off misty-eyed on the balcony (now he's yearning) and has to break it to her that the honeymoon is not important mostly because 'I don't want to get married to you now, because: hello, Maria's back. Weren't you aware?'
Anyway, I'm not going to nitpick. That was just one observation.
But, I get it though. I get the appeal. And I find the darker second half of the movie hooks me right in. The concert is genuinely moving and the bit where they're hiding in the cemetery is tense and I'm squirming in my seat. Because...Rolf.
Damn it, Rolf, you sonofabitch. You're such a Nazi.
For the next few days Edelweiss is stuck on loop in my head. Until the kite song.
Mary Poppins holds the magic for both of us so as we're watching, the memories come flooding back. We're saying things like: 'Omg...this scene!' and 'Oh wow I remember this bit'. It's strange seeing it again as an adult and we both talk about it for a few days following and what's apparent is how much heavy lifting Bert does in the movie. How much of a key role he plays in always putting an arm around someone and offering some wise words. Meanwhile, Mary Poppins is pretty chuffed with herself, dropping magic everywhere but with a real 'this party's over' attitude and very much gaslighting the kids. There's the tape measure scene where she measures herself and it reads 'absolutely perfect in every way' and she's pretty much like 'yep that's me'. And straight after this she apparently can't get a big enough mirror to look at herself in. It's pretty obvious she would not be a good follow on social media. Then later on there's that whole scene with Uncle Albert where he's floating around in his house, laughing and basically living his best life, and she solves this 'problem' by being the biggest buzzkill ever, killing the mood, saying 'ok job done' and leaving. Meanwhile, Uncle Albert and Bert are left ugly crying in a heap. Honestly, it's toxic stuff.
I realise poking holes in Mary Poppins or The Sound of Music is a bit like roasting Mother Teresa, so I apologise if I've fired you up. There'll be no more buzz killing from here on in.
The streak of two musicals remains as is. And the focus is back on The Sound of Music.
When we arrive in Salzburg via the train, a drunk man throws an empty whisky bottle which smashes near our feet. It's 4pm and it's not much of a 'raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens' vibe.
The day of the tour though, the sky is blue and we're ready to roll. The bus we will be riding has a full wraparound artwork of The Sound of Music and to me this feels like a test. And the test is this: there is no room here for indifference or feet dragging or shying away. There will be unabashed singing and joyful exuberance and yes people will be staring at the bus, staring at you and judging and thinking all sorts of things. So, you need to decide if you are fine with that, because if you are, then hop onboard, otherwise go be a cool kid somewhere else.
We hop on and it's a huge bus but it fills up. Everyone is up for it. I catch my brain fighting against it. We have ridden banged up old BMW's in Albania along cliff edges overtaking pigs and it's been hot and dangerous and it's the exact opposite to this. I am an adventurer. I am different.
I let it go though. The bus sets off and the tour guide kicks things off. He has done this tour around four thousand times apparently but it doesn't show. He is loving it and his enthusiasm is incredible. It never wanes throughout the day.
We make the first stop at the von Trapp house, which really is stunning. We stare at it and take photos from the other side of the lake. The fortress is on the hill behind it with snow-capped mountains nearby and it's no wonder the movie was so enchanting. The city of Salzburg plays a key role in the magic of the movie.
We hear lots of facts about the movie. One is that there was an original movie called The Trapp Family, which sounds like a movie Steve Martin might have been in, and that the movie wasn't sing-song-y and somewhat of a slog through the mud as far as watchability. Also, later on in the tour when we're in the church where Maria and the captain get married, I see a DVD for sale for a 2015 movie called The von Trapp Family starring Matthew McFayden as the captain, which catches me off guard. For a brief second I picture it as McFayden's character from Succession, the bumbling Tom Wambsgans, and I can only imagine how much of a field day the writers of the show would have with this spin-off. Especially the bit when the captain is called up by you-know-who.1
After getting some great views around the city we head up into the hills and the bus is now very much alive with the sound of music. The headline banger of the movie is playing and the singing is mostly from the tour guide as everyone is still slightly self conscious. One girl is filming herself singing but her friend sitting next to her is not quite there yet.
It's on the edge of winter so the mountains nearby aren't quite white from the snow yet, it's more of a frosted tips look. My Y2K teenage self would have been jealous, but if I'm honest, so is my 40 year old self.
We climb higher into the mountains and for the most part, it's still green rolling hills. I'm struck by the fact that even though I've only seen the movie once, there is a real palpable feeling being in this beautiful setting, that the music is meant to go with this environment. It feels special.
And the hits keep rolling through.
How do you solve a problem like Mariiiiaaaaa?
Current day? Probably put her on ADHD medication.
More people are singing now and it's a fun vibe. It feels like everyone is all in now. The song is catchy, I'm noticing, and I can sense it latching on. An ear worm that will resurface later.
I am sixteen going on seventeen..
The guy behind us has amazing pipes and I'm really enjoying it. Some of the lyrics in this one though...
We get stuck in traffic as workers are performing some sort of maintenance on a rock face, but it doesn't damper spirits because The Lonely Goatherd song has just started (the yodel song) and the guide is coming down the aisle with a plush toy of one of the goats and stopping it at each row and wiggling it in time with the music.
I'm telling you that at this point, everyone is absolutely lapping this up. They are loving it. I am loving it.
Inexplicably, a grown man in his 50's is wiggling a plush toy goat for a bunch of other grown adults and it's KILLING.
Maybe you could sourpuss your way through everything else up to this point, but I challenge anyone to not cave and get swept up by the yodel song and plush toy part of the tour.
YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE.
Mercifully, we are off again and we can recover. We continue on and stop in a small town where there is the church from the wedding, and also the line of trees that the kids are playing in when the captain and baroness drive past. There is also plenty of other stuff to look at because we are in Austria for heck's sake and it's beautiful everywhere.
The tour eventually ends at Mirabell Palace. This is where they film some of the scenes from the Do-Re-Mi song. Throughout the whole tour, I'm amazed that despite one solitary viewing, I feel a sense of awe seeing and standing in locations from the movie. I can't imagine how other people feel.
Something the tour guide says that sticks with me is how special this movie still is to so many people almost 60 years on. People of all ages. One element of this power and magic it holds is the memories people have of watching it with loved ones. Memories of the movie are intertwined with the people we watched it with.
The other element is of course the music. A musical has a way of burrowing deep into your soul. The songs give it that extra magic. They trigger powerful memories in their own way. I can listen to a song from my youth and am transported back immediately. Sometimes too powerfully that certain songs have to remain permanently retired. Or carefully managed.
But the thing that was so evident on the tour was how much of a joyful bubble we were all in. The world is a scary and awful and cynical place sometimes, and yet this felt pure and comforting amidst all that (the tour really did feel like an extension of the movie). And the fact that The Sound of Music can pull that off despite a storyline that involves Nazis is saying something. Actual Nazis are invading and the movie is still a joyful and uplifting experience.
Movies like The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins transcend time because of the feeling we get watching them. Not the logical, analytical mind of an adult, but the giddy, joyful innocence of a child. One that is secretly lurking in all of us. Ready to burst out when a grown man is wiggling a plush goat toy at you.
Perhaps the only blemish of the day was a self-inflicted one. Later, after the tour had ended, we went in search of a famous local dessert, the Salzburger Nockerl, by way of the equally famous, Mozart Cafe.
It's not an inconspicuous dessert. It looks like a series of giant, off-white, puffy hills. Impressive, visually at least, but it's all downhill from there. The taste is egg-y, and thus a mood killer. It feels a little bit like you're eating an omelette that has been inflated with a bike pump. The egg hills deflate slightly once you break the surface with your spoon - a bit like popping a balloon at a kid's birthday party (mood killer again) - and the only hint of sweetness is a small amount of raspberry jam at the bottom. This feels somewhat like an afterthought, as if the inventor of the Nockerl wondered whether a plate of egg hills might be a hard sell as a dessert and threw a bit of jam in there just in case people went ballistic and burnt the restaurant down.
The price for all this is a whopping 21 euros. A price that seems inconceivable considering the only ingredients seem to be eggs, air and raspberry jam. And so far the jam isn't doing much to make me not want to burn the restaurant down.
And so, I try to return to my new happy place. One of songs and plush goats and whiskers on kittens, and where the hills are made of green grass as opposed to eggs.
And I think it's working.
There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall..
Nazis
This is really special! I was supposed to be in Austria last week and likely would have been on this same tour. But, I got your really funny version instead!! Thanks for making me happy and look forward to when I can embark on the same trip. (Oh the plush goat!)
I love that your apology comes along straight after the best part where you deconstruct Mary Poppins. When Bert whispers, "Goodbye, Mary Poppins. Don't stay away too long!" it's because he knows he's got his work cut out trying to fix the trail of destruction that nobody else has noticed yet.
I'd never considered it this way, but you've turned me around in a single paragraph. Bravo! 😆